Love
by NetKat
Summary: Rewrite of "Love*." A few things have changed, and I feel like, overall, this version is more like what I saw in my head. I explore a little of what happens to Loki while he's in the void, after Thor. He also finds love. *The direct sequel, "Sarah," is done now, but I suggest holding off on reading anything beyond that.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Loki dangled over the abyss, holding only Odin's scepter. Bifröst was destroyed, shattered by Thor's hammer, Mjölnir. Loki looked up into Odin's face and considered the life he might hope to have if he remained. He searched Odin's face for a fraction of the pain that had been on it when he banished Thor, a small sliver of the love Odin had for Thor, but Loki saw none. Odin's face showed resolve, resignation, and determination. There was anger and frustration. There was even some compassion, but no love. Thor and Odin would forgive him, in time, but he did not want to be forgiven. He wanted love. He wanted someone who could see the value he knew he had, and accept him.

Much better, he decided, to try his luck with the abyss. He let go. At first, there was air rushing past his face, spreading his cape around him, then the sensation slowed. He took a deep breath, then he blacked out.

* * *

Slowly, Loki's consciousness returned. He opened his eyes, but all he could see were dark, blurry images. He was on his back, and wherever he found himself lying was hard.

"Ahh, he wakes," said an androgynous voice from his left. It sounded like the creature had swallowed gravel before talking.

Loki tried to sit up, but he unable to.

The voice laughed. "No, unfortunately, that will not work. We have restrained you."

Closing his eyes, Loki tried to teleport out of the restraints. It did not work.

"Your powers won't work here, Loki," the creature said.

Loki took a deep breath, then let it out. "Where am I?" he asked, voice gravelly and uneven.

"What do you remember?" a softer, gentler voice asked, near his head, this one clearly female, but still very ragged.

Furrowing his brow, Loki shook his head. "Release me," he demanded.

"Release him," the woman said.

Cold, boney fingers undid the straps holding Loki to the table. He sat up, looking around the room. "Tell me where I am," Loki demanded, facing the woman. She was tall, with long, black hair. Her skin was grey and thin-looking. She looked emaciated, and everything about her was dull and lifeless except for the fevered gaze of her eyes.

"The void between worlds, where powerful beings get banished, never to return. Now what brings the God of Lies to my non-realm?"

"I...I fell. Into the abyss, below Asgard." Loki looked at the male, who was hunched over, a hood covering his face. "And I know who you are. You're The First," he said, looking back at the woman. "The Queen."

"Yes," she hissed, closing the gap between them. "And I am so dreadfully hungry," she said, grabbing his hand and flipping it over.

Loki tried to pull it away from her, but the other creature, who Loki strongly suspected was a rock demon, wrapped his arms around Loki, effectively restraining him. The Queen opened her mouth, and glistening in the dim candle light were the fangs he expected. She sank her teeth into his wrist, which hurt a lot less than he expected. She drank deeply.

Feeling his life blood draining out of him, consciousness fading, Loki fought the darkness with all of his might. He lost, just as the woman, now young and healthy looking, dropped his hand.

"Lay him back down," she commanded, "but do not restrain him." Her voice was also transformed into that of a young, healthy woman. She licked her lips. "It's been over a millennia since I've tasted blood so sweet," she said, smiling. "I must be more careful with him," she mused to herself, looking at Loki.

His heartbeat was weak, but even. "He'll recover," the Queen murmured to herself. "He just needs a few days."

* * *

Running now, still weak from the blood the queen took from him less than an hour earlier, Loki knew he had to get away before she took any more. The Vampire Queen, banished to the realm that is not...Loki had believed the stories were legend. After nearly two months of her stealing his blood at least once a day, Loki was beginning to reconsider all of his preconceived notions about where legend ended and reality began.

"Loki..." she spoke to his thoughts, seductively, "come back my darling. I have such fun things planned for us."

Feeling his body respond to her voice, Loki used his willpower to push her out of his head. He found a little extra energy and ran a little faster. He threw himself carelessly over the edge of their island in the middle of nowhere, deciding that the abyss was the only way he could hope to escape.

Falling into nothing, Loki's mind reached for the Queen, even as he tried to forget her. "I am not your cow," he snarled as the wind rushed past his face. The connection with her severed abruptly, and Loki gagged. He would have vomited, but the Queen had not bothered to feed him in a few days. A sudden separation from an enchantment was always dangerous, but he knew the risk. It was one he had to take to get away from his captor and parasite.

Occasionally, she had taken him to her bed, as well. It was the worse part of his captivity, not because it was bad, but because during those times, he could imagine himself never leaving, accepting his fate, and staying with her forever. He knew those were dangerous thoughts, and that they came more from the Queen than him, but they had been insistent, sometimes.

Loki had planned to think in the nowhere place between realms, but he felt a sudden and intentional pull. "Now what?" he mumbled, more annoyed than anything.

* * *

Landing on his feet this time, Loki looked around. The light was low, with an undetectable source. He was clearly outside, and there was a dry sort of fog, but no wind, no smells. Everything felt worn out and stale. Loki turned slowly, sensing something behind him.

"Hello, son," Laufey said to him, grinning wickedly as Loki faced him. Standing next to him was Persephone, looking young, but sickly and tired.

In her hands, she held an ancient looking book. She closed it gently, then tucked it under her arm. She tucked a strand of her long, golden hair behind her ear, then turned to Laufey. She walked toward Loki, mouthing 'I'm sorry,' to him as she passed, scratching his cheek with her index finger, then clamped a set of paralyzing-bracelets on his wrists.

Loki cursed under his breath, feeling the wretched taint of the god, Hades, work its way into his body, stealing his ability to use magic.

An ice dagger materialized in Laufey's hand as he walked over to the now-helpless Loki. "Had I known you were my tiny and pathetic son," Laufey said, plunging the knife into Loki's gut, starting at the right and sliding it to the left as he talked, "I would have killed you the instant I saw you."

Loki, panting from the pain, stared at the man he had killed months earlier with a hate-filled heart, feeling his blood spill rapidly out of him. Without magic, and with the enchanted rings on his wrists, Loki had no way to defend himself from Laufey.

In addition to being defenseless, since he was in one of the (many) realms of the dead, he would feel every single thing Laufey did to him, but Loki would never be granted the release of death. "As it turns out, Loki, no one likes a father killer. Even the father killers," Laufey said, cackling madly as he stabbed Loki again, this time in his heart. Loki's screams were deafening.

* * *

Three months. Loki had been keeping track to the best of his ability, and by his estimate, he had been in the underworld for three months. Hades had not bothered to visit him, which was unsurprising. He would probably try to claim ignorance if Odin ever asked why someone had been allowed to torture Loki.

Every morning, Persephone brought him breakfast, watching him as he refused the food, then scratched him on his cheek, renewing the dose of poison that kept him unable to use magic. Every morning, she apologized before she did it.

"Why you?" he asked her one morning as she put the immobilization-bracelets on him.

"My husband commands, and so I obey," she answered.

Every time he saw her, she looked closer to the death she was force to submit to; more than exhausted, beyond simple illness. Loki found himself unable to be angry with her. Even in Loki's self-centered world, Persephone had been given a very raw deal.

Then one morning, "Don't talk, just listen," she said quickly, scratching him on his cheek, but with her thumb nail. "I go back to Mother today, and my husband...well, that does not matter. Today, the bracelets will not work and I have not taken your magic. You should have your powers back before long." She clipped the bracelets onto him, then kissed him on his cheek. "Good luck, young one."

"Young one?" he mumbled to himself as she left the room.

Standing in the middle of his cage, waiting for Laufey, Loki realized he had access to his powers again, but he stood still and waited for Laufey. They needed to talk, and Loki wanted that to be on his terms.

When Laufey finally did appear, Loki allowed himself to be dragged outside, to the shores of the river Styx. He remained immobile while Laufey laid him on the ground. When the ice dagger formed in his hand, however, Loki grinned, then teleported behind him.

Grinning wickedly, Loki formed two ice daggers of his own, one for each hand. "Thanks for showing me how to do this," he said, shoving them through Laufey's back. Loki pulled them out, then let them vanish, as Laufey turned around, facing Loki, features contorted with pain as he fell to his knees.

"You killed your son the day you left me to die. You are the worst sort of creature, to purposely, intentionally leave a baby to die. Odin was not a great father to me...but he tried." Loki paused as that realization sunk in. "He tried," Loki repeated, then shook his head.

Loki looked down at Laufey, ice daggers forming in his hands again. Then Loki let go of them, and the disappeared. "When did you realize I was the son you never wanted?"

"There are no secrets in death," he panted, but Loki could see that Laufey was already healing.

"Fortunately for you, father, I was not raised with your taste for cowardly torture," Loki spat, teleporting himself to the other side of the river, Styx.

As he materialized, Cerberus, Hades's three-headed guard dog, charged at Loki. Reflexively, he teleported again.

* * *

"Where is this?" Loki grumbled to himself, looking around. He looked down at himself, then up, just in time to see a man walk through him. Brow furrowed, Loki looked up and saw a man standing behind a briefcase. He had an eyepatch on his right eye, which reminded Loki of Odin. 'How did I get on the other side of the mirror?' he wondered.

"Doctor Selvig," the man with the briefcase called. Loki's face lit up. That was the old man Thor had made friends with.

"So you're the man behind all this?" Selvig asked, approaching the man with the eye patch. "It's quite a labyrinth. I thought you were taking me down here to kill me," he said, forcing a chuckle out on the last few words.

Loki found the old man pathetic, but he waited anyway. Loki was sure that he had been drawn here for a reason, and he did not exactly have anywhere else to go.

"I've been hearing about the New Mexico situation," the man in black told Selvig. "Your work has impressed a lot of people who are much smarter than I am."

"I had a lot to work with: the Foster theory, a gateway to another dimension... it's unprecedented...isn't it?"

The two men walked down the hall, still oblivious to Loki's presence among them, which made sense. It was a bit off putting when the men walked through him, but otherwise, Loki found himself enjoying the experience.

"Legend tells us one thing; history, another. But, every now and then," the man explained to Dr. Selvig, stepping behind the table with the briefcase on it, "we find something that belongs to both." Loki gasped as the man opened it. The Cosmic Cube lay nestled within the customized briefcase.

"What is it?" Selvig asked, earning an eye roll from Loki.

"Power, Doctor. If we figure out how to tap it, maybe unlimited power."

Loki grinned wickedly, stepping next to Selvig's mirror image. "Well, I guess that's worth a look," he whispered into Selvig's ear.

"Well, I guess that's worth a look," Selvig repeated, unaware of Loki's interference.

The man smiled, then held out his hand. "You're here because SHIELD wants to offer you a job, Doctor."

Selvig gladly shook the man's hand. "Of course I accept. Chance of a lifetime, Colonel Fury. I'd be an idiot to refuse."

"You are an idiot," Loki mumbled to himself. Filing away the knowledge that the Cube was on Midgard, Loki turned and teleported away with no particular destination in mind. 'At least Selvig's mind is easy for me to touch,' he thought to himself.

* * *

He materialized standing on the Rainbow bridge, but it had never been destroyed by Thor's hammer. It no longer glowed, and "Rainbow" would not have been an accurate description, since it was all browns, blacks, and grays now.

"What happened here?" Loki asked, expecting no answer.

"You do not belong here," a voice thundered from behind him.

Loki turned around, and saw a darkly twisted version of himself. The other Loki had gray skin and red eyes. His head was bald or shaved, and his face was covered in sores. He lifted his hands, which were also covered in sores.

"How...? Who...?" Loki asked the horrifying vision of himself.

Dark Loki waved his hand slowly. "I won," he said, then laughed as he moved his left arm from right to left, flinging Loki off the bridge.

"I did what it took, and I won," he yelled, laughing madly as Loki, once again, floated through the void.

Loki thought about The Queen. He did not want to return to her, so he cast a spell to hide himself from her. Then, desperate to land somewhere safe, Loki said one more spell that he hoped would pull him into a friendly realm.

Exhausted, he let the sense of weightlessness he felt lull him to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

-Earth, early October, 2010

Loki felt the air being knocked out of him as he hit the ground with a soft "Oofff," flat on his back. He had landed in the shoulder of the road. Moving only his eyes, he looked left to right, then up into the sky where he had come from. 'What realm am I in?' he wondered to himself. There were tall buildings on either side of him.

"Are you...ok?" It was a woman's voice, and coming from the direction of his head.

Loki tried to sit up. He failed.

He felt more than heard her walking toward him. "Need a hand? There's not a lot of traffic right now, but there will be." She offered her hand to him, which he took. With her help, he managed to get to his feet. She was about 5' 3" and shapely, but thin. Her hair was long, down to about the middle of her back, and wavy.

Loki took a few steps to make sure he could walk, the young woman walked next to him, ready to help him, should he be unsteady on his feet. He was not.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Come on, we can share some stale donuts." She offered him her hand again, but he waved it away. She shrugged and walked toward a very rundown looking building, nuzzled between two very tall ones. "Come on," she repeated, "please? I wanna know more about a man who can survive a fall like that."

Loki looked carefully at the girl. She had on a dark green hooded sweatshirt with a zipper. She was wearing black corduroy pants, as well. Her shoes were slip on basket ball shoes, and they were also dark green. She was lovely, but not in an Asgardian sense, which made her much more appealing to him. It was hard to be sure in the light of the street lamps, but it looked like her hair was purple. He knew Midgardians did not have purple hair, but he was pretty sure he was there.

"You coming or not?" she asked, waiting at the now-open door.

"Yes," he answered, his voice deep and raspy with an exotic accent. The sky was turning pink, now, and there was some traffic on the street, but nothing where he had landed. Hesitant after his last few experiences, he decided to trust her. For now.

"You CAN talk," she said, smile brightening.

Tilting his head, Loki looked at her. "When I choose to," he answered, simply and honestly.

The woman's smile faltered, but she kept looking at him. He walked through the door that she was holding open, and she watched his back, noticing particularly how his dark green cape (the same color as her jacket) fluttered in the wind. He made her feel weird, almost like she was the outsider, watching an exotic scene unfold. She shook her head and followed him, closing and locking the door behind her. It was not time to open the store yet.

"Welcome to Bob's Book Bonanza," she said, unzipping her jacket. "You, uh, should probably wash up. Come on, I'll show you the bathroom." Now that they were in better light, he could see that her hair had, in fact, been dyed purple, but it had been done at least a few months ago. There were several inches of dark brown showing at the top of her head. She lead him to a door hidden so well that Loki could barely see it, even knowing that it was there. She gestured to her right, where the bathroom was. The only other thing Loki noticed was that there were tall stacks of boxes.

He walked into the tiny bathroom and looked into the mirror. He was filthy! Loki washed his hands and face. He did what he could with his hair, too.

"Go have a seat. I'll be out there in a couple minutes," the woman told him as he walked out of the bathroom.

Loki left the back room and looked around. He saw a few sets of tables and stools, a couch, and a few rocking chairs. There were shelves full of books. 'A book merchant,' he thought to himself. Savoring the smell of the brewing coffee, he realized, rather suddenly, that he was starving. He had not eaten anything since his time with the Vampire Queen, months earlier.

A few minutes later, the girl reappeared. Her jacket gone, Loki could see that she was wearing a light blue, v-neck t-shirt. In her hands, she carried a tray with a pot of coffee, two mugs, a sugar bowl, and six stale looking plain donuts on a paper plate. She put it down on the closest table, and said, very abruptly, "Who ARE you?" Loki realized that he rather liked this mortal woman. Few people possessed the ability to be even half as direct when they wanted something.

"After food," he stated, forcefully, but with a smile. He would give her some story, but he was not sure if it would be the truth. He wanted time to consider.

The woman smiled a warm, welcoming smile and said, "Oh, sure. Good idea, even." She sat down at the table with the food on it, grabbed a donut and a mug, and poured herself some coffee. She gestured toward the stool across from her and said, "My name is Sarah. Please, sit."

There was still nothing obviously special about the woman, but Loki felt the beginnings of a deep affection for her...something he had never truly felt before. "Sarah," he repeated, softly. "That's a lovely name," he told her.

Sarah smiled, but said nothing. She studied the stranger sitting across from her openly. His hair was practically black, and came down just below his ears. It was still damp from the quick wash he had given it. Their eyes met, then, and Sarah felt a pleasant shiver run through her body. She quickly looked down, but continued to study him, being careful to avoid his hauntingly sexy eyes. He had on what looked like leather armor, all black, with some gold- and silver-looking adornments. His green cape was draped behind him.

Loki grabbed a donut and took a bite. He tried not to let it show on his face, but it was, by far, the worst thing he had ever tasted. Sarah smirked. "It's less awful if you dip it in the coffee." She broke her donut in half and dipped it into her steaming coffee, then took a bite. "Like this," she said around a mouthful of food.

Looking more at her than anything else, Loki grabbed the other cup from the tray and poured himself some of the coffee. He broke his donut in half and dipped it into the coffee. He smiled around his second bite. It was much better. "Have as many as you want. Anything that's left is getting tossed," Sarah told him.

They ate quietly and quickly. Loki was ravenous, and he finished three of the donuts before Sarah finished one. As he reached for his fourth donut, he realized that he owed her something of an explanation. He considered, momentarily, not giving it to her, but he did not see a way that the knowledge of who he was could do him any harm. He had no reason that he could put his finger on, but Loki felt connected to the woman sitting across from him. He put the hand down.

"I am Loki, of Asgard," he said, dramatically. He waited for the laugh, or at least a chuckle, but it never came. She just kept looking at him, her eyes wide with curiosity and surprise, waiting for more. "I thought for sure you'd have something to say about that," he said, more to himself than her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Well, I told you my name and where I was from. I saw your eyes widen."

Sarah shrugged. "I didn't want to interrupt."

Loki looked out the large, front-window. There was a lot more light now than there had been when he landed. "This is Midgard, is it not?"

"Uhhm, is that what you call Earth?" she asked.

Chuckling, Loki nodded. "You believe me, then?" he asked, more than a little surprised. He knew a little about humans, and most of them did not have the capacity to accept the proof that gods existed so easily.

"Well, I'm sceptical, but I have no other explanation for how you survived that fall," she answered, half shrugging.

"I find you puzzling," Loki said, softly, studying the woman sitting across from him. He saw intelligence, curiosity, and openness. He also saw that she accepted him, and his story, as it was.

Smirking, Sarah shook her head. "The god of mischief and lies thinks me 'puzzling.'" She shrugged. "I've been called worse."

"My...reputation precedes me, then?" he asked, still softly.

Sarah shrugged, "Maybe a little," she told him, and Loki's thoughts turned inward. He poured himself a little more coffee and started nibbling on a fourth donut. Sarah was curious, but decided to let him have some time. There were bags under his eyes and he looked like he had been through a lot. Plus, she enjoyed looking at him.

"You should take it as a compliment. It's the best I know," he told her as he finished his donut.

"'Puzzling' is a compliment?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "People are generally highly predictable, and therefore boring." He paused, trying to find the right words. "You are not boring," was the best sentence he could come up with.

Sarah shrugged, but she was smiling. "Come on," she said, standing up. "Lemme show you around a little. You can get some sleep if you want. Bob won't mind."

"Bob?" he asked.

"Yeah, the owner," she answered.

"You are a mere servant in this world?" Loki asked, a bit incredulously.

"Ah, well, I'm not exactly a servant," Sarah said, mildly offended at the idea.

"He owns this store?"

"Well, yes."

"And he compensates you for running it?"

"Yeah."

Loki's eyes gleamed and he grinned mischievously. "Ok. What do you call that relationship here?"

Sarah smirked. "I would call myself an 'employee' and I would call him an 'employer,' but I see your point," she admitted. "Come on, lemme show you the place."

Loki stood up and followed her around the store while she told him which books were where. She clearly loved what she did. Then she lead him to the oddly hidden door. Close up, with time to look, he could see better where the door was, but he was still pretty sure that he would have missed it if he did not know it was there. "That's an interesting door," he said, mostly to himself.

"How much do you know about Earth?"

"Very little, I am discovering," Loki admitted.

"Ok, well, once slavery was accepted and legal here. Now it isn't. In the middle, where some people saw the evil in slavery, but some people didn't, there was a thing called the Underground Railroad, which helped get slaves to places where they could live free. This room held supplies that the owner didn't want people to ask questions about."

"That is... "

"Really boring. I know. Look around, though."

Loki did not correct her, but he found it fascinating that a species so well suited for slavery had bothered fighting against it.

They stepped back into the cozy little area with some counter space, a coffee maker, a small fridge, and boxes. A lot of boxes. Several stacks, most of them at least three boxes high. Some were four high. He saw Sarah's jacket, too, hung on the back of the door.

"You mentioned something about sleeping?" Loki asked, not seeing a bed.

"Oh! Yeah." Sarah walked over to a stack of boxes and pulled out something that was shoved between them. "I'll set this cot up for you, but then you're on your own." She unfolded and locked the cot while she was talking. "There should be some blankets here, too..." She started digging through the boxes. "Ah... Here they are." She brought out a pile of sheets and blankets, slightly moth eaten, but clean. "I left these back here when I had a... a roommate."

Sarah looked down at her feet, and Loki took the opportunity to really study her face for the first time. She had a very faint scar next to her left eye that looked like she had been burned when she was very young. Her eyes were a deep, dark green. She also had dark, grey bags under her eyes. "You suffer from insomnia," he stated, meeting her eyes when she looked up. "Your roommate was an abusive boyfriend, and you were burned near your eye when you were a child."

"Oh, good, you're not an idiot," Sarah said, defensively. She put the pile of sheets and blankets on a box and pulled out a sheet. She started making up the cot, clearly more upset by his words than he had intended.

"Hey?" Loki said, softly. He put his hand gently on her left arm, turning her toward him. "Hey. I'm sorry." He moved his hand up to her cheek, and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I meant no offense," he told her, returning his hand to her left bicep. Some of the tension left her, but not much. "I really did not mean to offend you. Things have been...difficult for me, lately. I fear that I am not exactly myself," he said,

She felt a tingle wherever his hand touched her, so she pushed his hand away. "It's fine," she said. "I dated an abusive, lying, cheating man for 8 years. He tried to kill me." She lifted her shirt up slightly to show Loki a much fresher scar than the one on her face, about three inches long, stretching from her belly button down to her right hip. "I survived and kicked him out. I should have pressed charges but... I don't know." She paused, gave herself a shake, and said, "I...shouldn't be telling you this."

"Why not?" he asked, her, resisting the urge to touch her again.

"Because I just shouldn't. I don't know you. I have no idea what you'll do with that information."

Flashing his mischievous grin, Loki said, "You have some trust issues."

Sarah laughed, feeling a little better. "Also true."

Loki's smile softened, then he looked at the cot. "Go do your work. I can make my own bed." He hated sending her away, but he needed time alone to think. After everything he had been through in the past five or six months, Loki needed some time to think.

Sarah looked up at him for a minute, then nodded and left. She also needed some time to herself, to think.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

As he watched Sarah leave, Loki considered his feelings for her. She was pretty, but there was more involved in his interest in her than mere physical attraction. Her open warmth was comforting; a soothing balm on new psychological wounds he had received.

His desire for physical intimacy with her was confusing him. He was over 1,000 years old, and while he had been with a fair number of women, none of them mattered to him. They had all been a means to an end, nothing more, certainly nothing special. He shivered with disgust as he thought of his most recent experience with the Queen, which had been so much less.

Sighing, he finished making up his bed. Loki rolled one of the blankets into a pillow and spread the second one onto the cot. As he laid down, his clothes changed around him into soft, gray pajamas. He covered himself and fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Sarah was confused and annoyed by her feelings for the man in the back room. She enjoyed helping people, but with Loki, helping was not enough. She wanted to know everything about him.

She even wanted him to know everything about her, which was very odd. She never wanted to talk about her past. Her past disgusted her. She did not even like to think about it; talking about it was normally torture. She was afraid of him (and all men, by default,) but she was also drawn to him. When he had touched her cheek earlier, she had desperately wanted him to kiss her. She chuckled to herself a little. She wanted much more than just a kiss from him.

Rolling her eyes at herself, Sarah grabbed one of the three boxes that had not made it to the back room yet and opened it. It was full of second-hand books to be sorted, alphabetized, and put away in their proper sections. Sarah dropped the box next to the nearest table and started putting the books into piles. She normally loved the tedious task of organizing books, but today, she just wanted something to get her mind off of Loki, and book-sorting was not cutting it.

Sarah caught her mind trying to rationalize what she had seen earlier. 'He didn't really fall from the sky; he tripped. He's not just tired and worn out, he's a drug addict.' "No," Sarah said quietly, and her inner voice stopped. It had been feeble to being with.

Working at a used book store had been Sarah's dream job since she knew that such places existed, long before she could legally work. She liked the idea of several people enjoying the same copy of a book, and she loved the way the pages of old books smelled. Sometimes she would open a book that had been on the shelf for a while and inhale deeply. Reading had often been her only comfort during her childhood, and the library had been her true home.

Her box was empty and there were a couple more waiting for her, so she broke it down, got up, and grabbed another box. She opened it, but it was full of register tape and stickers for the pricing gun. She closed the box and grabbed a sharpie from the cup she kept by the register. She wrote "SUPPLIES" on the top. Later, when the box was empty, she would scribble that off and use the box for any unsorted used books that people sold or donated to the store. She tried to reuse things until they either didn't work or fell apart.

Checking the time, Sarah sighed again. She had several hours to kill before it was time to open the store. "Why did I come in so early?" she asked no one in particular. It was a silly question, though, because she knew the answer. When you wake up at 3am and you can't get back to sleep, you keep busy and hopefully sleep better next time.

She grabbed the box of supplies and put it behind the front desk. Then she went back for the last box. She opened it. This time, it was more books.

A little less than an hour later, Sarah was done sorting the books available to her without going into the backroom. She always felt good when the books were in their proper spots on the shelves. She also felt calmer, more centered. 'I'm probably ready to see him sleeping,' she thought to herself, opening the door. She would just grab two or three more boxes to sort before the store opened.

What she saw and heard shocked her as she cracked open the door to the back room. Loki was on the cot, thrashing and moaning. "...no no no, not me, no..." was the one thing that Sarah could understand, and the desperation in his voice chilled her heart.

"Loki?" she whispered, stepping closer. He moaned incoherently. "Loki, wake up," she said, kneeling so she could put a hand on his shoulder. "Loki?" she asked, shaking him gently.

Loki sat straight up, knocked her hand off of his shoulder, and grabbed Sarah around her neck with his hands. He let go immediately when he realized where he was and who she was, but it had taken half a second for his dream to leave him. Her eyes were wide open in shock, but not the anger he would have expected.

"You were having a bad dream," she stated, flatly. There were red marks where Loki's fingers had been, but they were already fading. Loki lifted a hand to her neck and gently touched the fading marks. She flinched, causing him to snatch his hand away.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah. I thought... I was dreaming," he told her. She kept staring at him. Now that the shock had faded, her eyes were strangely empty. He opened his mouth, trying to find the words to take back what he had done, but there weren't any, so he closed it.

Sarah waved her hand, dismissively. "I just came back here to grab a few boxes. Sorry to disturb you," she said, standing back up and turning to leave.

Grabbing her hand before she could go, Loki said, "Sarah, wait. Please." She did not resist. "I was dreaming about..." he sighed, deciding to tell her everything. "Do you have some free time?"

"Sure, I guess," she said, clearly reluctant. She pulled over a box to sit on. Loki noticed that she was just past his reach, which hurt his feelings far more than was reasonable of him. 'Have I fallen in love so easily, then?' he wondered.

Loki tried to look at Sarah, but found himself too ashamed of what he had done to her, and the story he was about to tell. He looked at his hands, instead. "Where I am from, I am a Prince. I was born to be King, but I was...different. Odin took me...no, saved me, from my home and my people. His plan was to offer me as a token of peace after Thor Odinson is crowned King of Asgard." Loki smiled, mischievously. "That was supposed to have happened already, but I took care of that with a bit of fun." His smile faded.

"In my nightmare, I was a baby, tiny and helpless. There was a woman...a frost giantess, standing over my crib, reaching for me with love, when a man smacked her away from my crib. She flew into the wall, knocking things over, screaming wildly... He wrapped his hands around my throat, and just as the life started leaving my tiny, infant body, I realized that it was actually my hands that were trying to kill the infant, while the infant was actually Odin, the man who raised me." He lifted his eyes, meeting Sarah's, "I tried even harder to kill him."

The attack forgiven, Sarah looked down, considering what Loki had told her. "I don't...I don't know who any of these people are," she stammered.

Loki smiled sadly. "My parents were frost giants...big, blue, towering creatures. My father was ashamed of my small size. Among frost giants, there is nothing more shameful than having a small child. He left me to die, but Odin found me, and he took me home, and raised me as his own, alongside Thor, without ever telling me the truth." He sighed. "Until recently."

Sarah looked at him, wanting to hug him. Instead, she held her hand out to him, scooting her box forward a little. He took the hand gratefully. "My mom was...a mess, actually. She tried, but she was a drug addict when I was born...and..." Sarah shook her head. "Do you ever wish Odin had left you to die?"

Tilting his head, Loki said, "I don't believe anyone has ever asked me that question. I'll have to think about it."

She smiled sadly. "Sometimes, especially when I was a kid, I wished my mom hadn't had me. I, uh..." Sarah shook her head. "I wished she had miscarried, or aborted." Sarah shook her head. "I'm not suicidal, I just wish I hadn't been born." She laughed uncomfortably. "Does that make sense?"

Loki shrugged, then leaned forward and brushed the small scar near Sarah's eye. "Did she do this to you?" he asked, softly.

"No," she answered. "No. That was Mark."

"Mark?" he prompted.

Sarah shook her head. "Uhm. He was mom's boyfriend. I guess." They sat together quietly, holding hands for a few seconds, then Sarah started talking.

"It was so stupid," she started. "Do you know what a cigarette is?" Loki nodded. "Well, Mark was smoking one, and I was 5, maybe 6. I was curious, so I picked up his cigarette after he put it in the ashtray. I actually took a drag, then started coughing so hard, I threw up." She paused, making a horrible face as she remembered. "All of it was hilarious to him until I threw up. Then Mark grabbed me by my shirt and held the still-lit cigarette in front of my face. 'What have I told you about touching my shit, you little brat?'

"'Not to?' I questioned. He had told me so many different things about touching his stuff.

"And then, just like that, he pressed the lit end here," she gestured toward her scar. "He said, 'never touch my stuff.' I screamed pretty loudly, and Mark seemed to feel bad. He helped me clean and bandage the wound, which stung more than anything else ever has in my life, by the way. He also cleaned up the puke. When he was done, he lit another cigarette and said, 'Now what are little girls supposed to do when they see my things?'

"'Not touch them, sir,' I answered. He nodded and went back to ignoring me while he watched tv. I think I went into my room and played with some dolls."

Growing up, Loki had been taught that humans were weak and delicate, to be handled gently, carefully, but hearing Sarah's story was causing him to rethink that lesson. The marks on her neck were completely gone, and her story about where her scar came from was horrible. "How could anyone do something so awful to a child?"

"He never saw me as a child. I was a burden. On nights mom worked late, he would...do...things…" Sarah shook her head. "Before they died, my childhood memories are dark and fuzzy, but they all seem to involve the smell of cheap beer and shame and pain. Blood." She blinked a few tears out of her eyes and rubbed them away angrily.

Loki shook his head, his already low opinion of humans sinking even lower. He let go of Sarah's hand and stood up. He paced a few times, then stopped just in front of Sarah. He held his hands out to her. She hesitated, but ultimately put her hands into his. He pulled her up so they stood, facing each other, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in, crushing her against his body. She struggled a little, so he loosened his grip, fearing she would push him away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself back in.

He lifted her slightly off the ground and rested his head on her shoulder, breathing in the scent of her, taking comfort in it. After a few seconds, he reluctantly set her back down and let go of her. A few more of her tears had fallen, but she clearly had a knack for controlling (or, more likely, hiding,) her emotions. So few people across the realms were any good at self control. He found himself admiring her for it. He began to consider whether or not she would have screamed during the daily torture sessions that Laufey administered, then chased the thought away as too dark when he found himself unable to consider even just her fingertip being chopped off.

"I think that sometimes, yes, I did wish that Odin had left me. Much of my childhood was spent wishing I had never been born. I'm sure I will feel that way again, but right now, I'm happy to be here," he answered.

Sarah smiled, then did something that completely shocked Loki. She stood on her tippy-toes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she told him.

"I... you just," Loki stammered. Sarah shrugged and started to turn toward the boxes stacked behind her, but Loki grabbed her hand and drew her back to him. He wrapped his arms back around her, this time putting his right hand behind her neck and his left on the small of her back. He leaned down and kissed her.

Shocked, Sarah almost tried to fight, but she wanted this kiss; had wanted it since the first time Loki had spoken to her. She returned the kiss, and their mutual passion for each other turned their first kiss into something far more intimate and meaningful than anything else either one of them had previously experienced.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

"Wow," Sarah said, breathlessly, putting her hands on Loki's chest. She gently pushed him away. "That was... Wow." She looked down at her hands. "Nice pajamas, by the way."

Loki moved both of his hands to Sarah's hips and smiled at her. "Would you rather I wear nothing?"

Sarah smiled, but shook her head.

He put his hands on her back and pulled her close for a hug, then let her go. "I should leave before I hurt you."

Looking down at her hands, Sarah shook her head. "I don't think I agree with that."

Loki put his hands on either side of her face, tilting it so she was looking into his eyes. "I'm a dangerous man. I lie and cheat to get what I want. I kill people who get in my way." He watched her reaction to his words, but she had none. "That doesn't bother you?" he asked, quietly, letting go of her face.

She shook her head, then shrugged. It intrigued her more than it bothered her.

Loki looked down at her with a smile. He kissed her forehead. "All-father always said that falling in love was easy, but he's something of a philanderer," purposely elevating the mood.

Sarah chuckled. "Is that so?"

He nodded. "Everyone knew I wasn't Frigga's son, but the assumption was that I was Odin's. I really do not understand why she puts up with him."

"Because he's king," Sarah stated. "Where would she go? Who would dare touch her, and risk Odin's wrath?"

"I had not considered that," he admitted.

Sarah grabbed a box. Loki followed her with a couple more. "Would you like more, or will three be enough?"

"Three should be fine. Thanks."

Still smiling, Loki lifted his chin slightly, and opened the door before Sarah had a chance to. "Neat trick," Sarah said, impressed.

"You have the ability. Why do you not use it?"

Sarah dropped her box and turned to face Loki. "What?" She asked, incredulously.

"You are unaware. I see. I sensed power in you when you opened yourself to me during our kiss. Now that I feel it, I don't really understand how I missed it. You have very strong magic in you."

"I... I don't... How can I possibly have..." Sarah stopped talking. She suddenly remembered how she had defended herself when Greg tried to kill her. She opened her mouth, and the whole story spilled out.

* * *

Sarah left her job at the supermarket early that day. She got home from work expecting nothing, since Greg had been out with his friends all day. She found herself hoping that he was still out, but was let down when she saw his car parked in the driveway. All she wanted to do was shower and get out of her work clothes; a green polo shirt and khaki pants.

She knew that something was wrong the second she opened the door. The TV was off. The house was dark. Then she heard a woman moan, and Sarah sighed, knowing that Greg had not been out with his friends, after all.

Sealing herself for what she already knew she would find, Sarah kicked open their bedroom door just in time to catch Greg finishing onto the woman. She was facedown on the mattress. Even as Sarah made a mental note to change the sheets, she felt rage boiling up from deep inside herself, but it was not at the woman, or Greg. She was angry with herself for thinking that he had changed.

"Get. Out," she said, flatly.

She closed the door. It had taken considerable willpower to not slam it.

She walked into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich.

* * *

Greg was screaming at the woman, swearing at her, calling her names. "You dumb cunt, this is your fault," was the only line Sarah could make out, but it was enough. She had heard it all before.

After cutting her ham and cheese sandwich (with mustard) in half, Sarah grabbed her plate and sat down on the couch in the living room. She picked up the book she was reading. It was just for show, though. She was actually thinking about her options.

Greg had never bothered to sign the lease on the apartment, and all of the furniture was hers, but would he leave without involving the police? Maybe she should call the them, get him escorted out...

The woman was crying when she rushed out of the apartment, but Sarah had little sympathy for her. Sarah was pretty sure she worked with the woman at the supermarket, but averted her eyes, not wanting to be sure.

'She's not the one in a relationship with me,' Sarah reminded herself. The woman slammed the door on her way out. 'That I can be annoyed with her, for, though,' Sarah thought, wryly.

Sensing Greg behind her more than hearing him, Sarah tensed up, but ignored him. She was only half done with her sandwich, and she still had not decided what to do about kicking him out.

"You dumb, stupid, irresponsible whore. How dare you tell me what to do in my own home!? Who do you think you are?"

Sarah kept ignoring him.

"I am TALKING TO YOU, and you disobedient bitch, and I will not be ignored." Sarah ducked just in time to not get hit by a glass. It hit the wall in front of her and shattered.

Sighing, Sarah put down the sandwich, stood up, and turned around. The couch was between Sarah and Greg, but they were only about 4 feet apart. With his beer gut hanging over his underwear (which was the only thing he bothered to put on,) Sarah realized that he had really let himself go. "It's my apartment. You never bothered to sign the lease." She suddenly realized that she was utterly and completely over him.

Greg sputtered. "How dare you lord your job and money over me!? Why would I want my name connected to an irresponsible cunt like you?"

"Get out. Pack a bag and get out. I don... " Sarah stopped talking as she noticed the hunting knife in Greg's hand. He was essentially a coward, so she doubted that he would actually use it on her, as long as she stayed firm. "I don't care if you have anywhere to go, Greg. You need to leave. Now."

Smiling a nasty grin, Greg said, "Heh. No. I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this, but you leave me no choice." Faster than Sarah had thought possible, he had grabbed her by her shirt and lifted her toward him, over the couch. "Look at that cute tummy," he said as her shirt bunched up. Still holding Sarah in the air, he put the tip of the knife just inside her belly button. "Who are you keeping this tummy so cute for? I know it's not me, you little slut."

Panicking, Sarah was frozen in the air. If she moved, the knife would cut her. Badly. If she did nothing, she was pretty sure that Greg would kill her. He had a look in his eyes that she had never seen before.

"Let's fix your tummy so no one will ever want you again, shall we?" Greg pulled down on the knife, drawing it almost to Sarah's hip.

Sarah screamed deafeningly as she almost blacked out from the shocking pain. She held onto consciousness like a child clutching a favorite toy to keep away the boogie man at night. 'Gotta fight back. Gotta get out. Gotta get that knife. Gotta get that knife!' she thought.

Suddenly, Sarah felt something snap in her mind. Greg was looking at his handy-work while Sarah's blood dripped on the floor. She called the knife to her hand, and it came, handle-first.

"The fuck?" Greg said when the knife disappeared. "How...?"

Sarah directed her mind at the shattered glass behind her. She thought about it flying at Greg, but stopping just in front of his face. She watched in wonder as it did just that.

Greg dropped her and backed away. She held her left hand over her wound, gripping the knife with her right. She let the glass fall at his feet. "Get dressed and get out. Now."

He backed away wordlessly, not taking his eyes off of her. Sarah watched in wonder as her world started to turn gray. She yelled, "NOW!" and Greg turned and ran into the bedroom. He came out seconds later, still only wearing underwear, but clutching jeans and a t-shirt. He stopped only long enough to open the door to leave. It slammed shut behind him. Sarah dropped the knife and took her cellphone out of her pocket. She dialed the security desk. "I need help," she told the man who answered. She managed to give him her room number before saying, "I'm cold," and blacking out.

* * *

Sarah had been looking down the entire time she talked.

"He had better not hurt you again," Loki growled, softly. Sarah did not hear him.

"Anyway, I lied to the security guard and I lied to the hospital about what happened and I never pressed charges. He, uh, sent some of his friends to get his stuff. He claimed not to feel safe in my presence anymore. Last I had heard, he was dating some girl named Allie."

"How did you not remember, Sarah?" Loki asked, puzzled.

"I... I guess I just blocked it. Passing out helped. Even now, remembering it was like trying to swim through mud. The stuff that wasn't weird I was just fine with, but the knife and the glass? It was more like a dream than a memory."

Loki nodded. "Have you seen him since he removed his belongings?" he asked.

"Uh. Not exactly. One of his friends came into the store about 2 months ago trying to get me to give him another chance, but I was just done. I had been done for a while, really, I just... I don't know."

Loki smiled a particularly evil grin, making Sarah uncomfortable. "I would love to meet him," he said.

Sarah shrugged uncomfortably and picked up the box that she had dropped. She walked to the table where she had been sorting earlier and dropped her box near it. "Eh. Waste of time," she replied, trying to sound casual. "Hey, maybe you can show me how to control my... what did you call it?"

"Ability," Loki answered, allowing his smile to soften. "And gladly. l'm not sure that I can teach much, though. I am not very patient." He walked toward Sarah and put the boxes on the floor, next to the one she was working out of. "If there is nothing else I can help you with, I will go rest."

Smiling, Sarah said, "Yeah, go. Thanks." Loki turned and walked through the still-open door. He brought his hand up to close the door, but not before stealing another glance at Sarah. She was already sitting at the table, opening one of the boxes. Absentmindedly, she swept her hair back, then looked up at him. As their eyes met, her face lit up with a warm, bright smile. He grinned back at her, then closed the door.

As Loki sat down on the cot, he thought about the things Sarah had told him, and her ability to flash that warm smile at him anyway. 'She is either very special or very crazy,' he thought to himself, still grinning. It did not occur to him until much later that they might share both traits.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Sarah went about her sorting and pricing with a new bounce in her step. The kiss she had shared with Loki had been amazing, but having someone to trust...someone she felt like she could talk to Greg about… She had been carrying that weight around for far too long.

Loki, however, was angry. Very angry. He did not feel the urge to sleep, so he got up and paced between the boxes. The only thing he could focus on was his anger, and his desire to destroy Sarah's ex. Killing would not be enough; he wanted to destroy the man. He wanted to torture the man the way Laufey had tortured him, except so much worse...so much longer. Loki did not have a taste for torture where Laufey was concerned, but for the man who had tried to murder that sweet girl… He took a few deep breaths and sat back down on the cot. "I must stop dwelling on this," he said aloud.

Shaking his head, Loki focused on changing his outfit. He did not feel tired or weary, although he knew he looked both. He pictured himself wearing a dark green polo shirt and black slacks with black shoes. He did not want anything too fancy. His clothes changed around him as he stood up.

He opened the door to the main part of the store and poked his head out. "Would it be a problem for you if I stayed out here?"

Sarah, lost in her own thoughts, jumped a little and knocked over a pile of books when Loki spoke. "Oh! Uh, of course not. You're not still sleepy? Because, I mean, you LOOK..."

"Never mind how I look," he interrupted. "Let me help you straighten those books out."

Sarah smiled. "No, I've got this." She quickly re-stacked the pile that she had knocked over. "See?" Noticing Loki's clothes, she said, "Nice outfit. Dark green looks good on you." She noticed that her hands were a little shaky, and she smiled nervously at him.

Loki thought Sarah's nervousness was adorable. "Where should I settle in?"

"Anywhere, really," Sarah stammered. "Where, uh, ever you'll be comfortable."

Nodding thoughtfully, Loki wandered away to look at the books. Sarah watched him as he walked down one of the isles, then went back to her book sorting after he disappeared around a corner. She pulled a copy of "Rebecca," by Daphne Du Maurier, out of the box and stood up to put it by the register.

As he walked through the isles, Loki quickly realized that he had no idea where to even begin. He could not remember the last time he read for any reason other than to gain knowledge over his enemies.

"Do you have any suggestions?" he asked loudly.

"What do you like?" Sarah answered, also loudly.

Laughing, Loki said, "I... am not sure. Recreational reading is something I haven't done since I was a child."

"Huh. Well, what did you like when you were a kid?" Sarah asked, her voice getting closer to him.

"Oh, uhm, mostly epic tales of glorious battles. We did not have much to choose from," he answered.

"Uhm. You might want to try Edgar Rice Burroughs." Sarah walked up behind him. "It, uh, well...you'll see."

Loki looked at the cover. "A Princess of Mars," he read, thoughtfully. "The god, or…?"

"Wait, the Olympian gods are real, too? Seriously?" Sarah asked, incredulously.

"Real enough, I suppose," Loki said thoughtfully.

"Do you guys like, see each other? Visit a lot?" Sarah said, intrigued.

"Uhhh, yeah, on occasion. Dionysus and I hang out sometimes. Father and Zeus have similar infidelity...habits, I guess, and they like to share a glass of mead from time to time and gossip about young maids." Grinning, Loki remembered the day Zeus found out that Odin had given Mjölner to Thor. "Zeus was livid when he discovered that Odin had given Thor the gift of calling thunder and lightening. Father walked over to Zeus, put his arm around him, called for food, mead, and women, and the whole thing just sort of blew over."

"Women?" Sarah asked, catching Loki's smirk when he said the word.

He shrugged, then smirked. "None special," he assured her. "There were these lovely sisters, though...wood nymphs, I believe..."

Sarah raised her eyebrow, then shook her head. "That actually kind of makes it worse. But to answer your question, no. Not the god. The planet. Go settle somewhere and read it," she said as she walked back to the front of the store.

'No one speaks to me the way she does,' he thought to himself, following her with a silly grin on his face. Loki plopped down on the couch between the register and the table Sarah was using, leaving her to finish her work.

It took her about an hour to get through the three boxes. Just as she was placing the last book on a shelf, she heard Loki ask, still from the couch, "Are there more like this?"

Sarah slide the last book into place, then walked to the couch Loki was sitting on. "...more what?" she asked, turning a corner, but he was gone. The book sat, closed, in the middle of the table. Sarah walked over to it.

"More stories," Loki's voice said far from behind her. "More books. Are there more? Like this one?"

Turning around, walking back between two book cases, Sarah said, "Oh! You can't be done already." She paused, looking for him again around the other end of the bookcases. "You ARE done, aren't you?"

Loki snuck up behind her and put his hands on her hips. "Yes," he whispered, bringing his mouth close to her ear, "and I would read more like it, since you have a job to do." He turned her around and kissed her forehead.

"You need to stop doing that," she whispered, a soft smile on her face.

"Stop what?" he asked, smirking, taking her into his arms and drawing her close to him.

"That. Distracting me from my work. Stop."

Loki kissed the corner of her mouth, then held her close for a second before letting her go.

"Those books?" he prompted when he saw that she was having trouble thinking straight.

"Yeah, right. Ok. I think we have an entire box of Burroughs in the back. He's low-priority, since all of his works are available through Project Gutenburg," Sarah rambled. "It's uh... people take old books that aren't under copyright laws anymore and make them available for free. Basically."

"Sarah, dear," Loki said, trying not to smile, "very few of the words you just said mean anything to me."

Sarah laughed. "Doesn't matter. Come on," waving with her hand and heading to the back, "let's find that box before I have to open the store."

They went into the back-room together, and Sarah smiled because she remembered, not for the first time, that signing on full time at the bookstore was the best decision she had ever made. After she had kicked Greg out, she realized that she had a lot more money. She no longer needed to work two jobs, so she quit the grocery store (which paid her better) and told Bob that she'd like to work full time at the bookstore. Open to close, 6 days a week, would be just fine with her. Bob agreed almost instantly, and she agreed to a fairly meager salary to start, with small but regular raises every 6 months. Money was a little tight but very livable, and she was happier than she had ever been. She was even able to put a little bit away every week, which she had never been able to do while Greg was sponging off of her. After almost a year, she had almost two months worth of bills and expenses saved.

"I think," Sarah said, looking down, "that this is the box." It was on top of one other box. She opened it, and sure enough, it was the box of Burroughs. She nodded and closed it up. "There's some Tarzan in here, too," she said, grinning. When she bent forward to lift the box, Loki gently pushed her out of the way.

"I can take care of this. Get the door," he told her.

Sarah shrugged and stood up. She held the door open for Loki. She helped him get settled in with the box on the couch. He grabbed a book at random and opened it.

"No!" Sarah yelled, diving at Loki. She snatched the book from him. "You can't..." she trailed off and looked up from the book in her hands at Loki's face, thinking, 'I just snatched a book from the hands of a god.' She was expecting anger, but instead saw bemusement. She let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. It's just that this is a series, and stuff needs to happen in order, and you should read the books in order..." Sarah trailed off, realizing she was in danger of rambling.

Loki gently took the book from Sarah's hands and put it back in the box. She had never stood back up, and hunched over the way she was, her face was in very easy kissing distance. He resisted, just looking into her beautiful green eyes. He did not like the fear he saw just after she snatched the book, which he found interesting. Anyone else who pulled that move with him without expressing proper fear would have found themselves suddenly naked and surrounded by snakes. He smirked at the memory, then went back to looking into Sarah's eyes.

"Loki," she whispered softly, "are you casting a spell on me?" He shook his head to indicate that he was not, in fact, casting a spell on her. "Then why do I see my future when I look at you?"

"I see mine in you, as well," Loki admitted, pushing a strand of hair off of Sarah's face. "And I am terrified."

"But why...? How?" Sarah stammered. "You!?"

"Mmm. This. You." Loki shook his head. "You make me feel like a nervous child. I am...," Loki took a deep breath, "I am experiencing feelings...emotions..." He shook his head. "You make me uncomfortable."

Sarah leaned forward and kissed him on his cheek, then stood up. "Read 'The Gods of Mars' next, alright? That's the next one in the series."

Loki stared after her as she walked toward the front door to change the sign to "Open" and unlock it. He shook his head and turned his attention to the box of books.

* * *

Sarah grabbed a pen and some scrap paper from next to the register. She jotted down the order of the Barsoom books, then got up to bring the list to Loki. "Here," she said, walking toward him. "This is the order that you should read the boo... " she cut herself off.

At some point while Sarah was making the list, Loki had fallen asleep. He was laying on his side, using his arm as a pillow. Sarah smiled at him and left the note on top of the box. She thought about trying to get him into the backroom, then decided to just let him be. He looked comfortable enough, and he did not appear to be having any nightmares. Customers fell asleep on the couch often enough.

She went into the back-room and grabbed the blanket he had been using on the cot. She folded the cot up and tucked it away, then went back to the main part of the store. She spread the blanket over Loki, then grabbed herself a second cup of coffee and took a seat behind the cash register.

'A god,' she thought to herself, 'who falls asleep, reading on the couch.' She absentmindedly wound her hair into a bun, then used a pen to hold it in place. She sat down and started reading, but she was fidgety and having trouble concentrating.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

"I wonder what gods eat," Sarah mumbled to herself, noticing that it was about an hour before she liked to eat lunch. Generally, Sarah made her own food at home, but she had forgotten to do that in her rush to leave her sleepless apartment. "Everyone likes pizza," she decided. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, called her favorite pizza place in the area, and ordered a cheese pizza.

"Would it be too much trouble for you to deliver that about an hour from now?" she asked at the end of the call.

"For you, darling, anything."

"Thanks, Daryl. I'll see you in about an hour," she said, hanging up.

Sarah sighed softly as she hung up, then grabbed her book and sat down in one of the recliners. She could see the front door clearly, and it was a lot more comfortable than the chair behind the cash register. The store was exceptionally slow, and Sarah was bored.

After a few minutes, the bell over the door tinkled, and Sarah looked up to see her first customers of the day. She stood up and greeted a group of three young women in their late teens, of heights varying from about 5"1' to just under 6", all with jet black hair, black lipstick, black, lacy clothes, and white face makeup. "Hi ladies, feel free to look around, and let me know if you need help finding anything."

"Thanks," the girls said, in unison, smiling. They headed toward where the Gothic Romance books were. They were regulars, and Sarah liked them. Sometimes they had other people with them, but those three girls were almost never apart.

Sarah grabbed the copy of "Rebecca," by Daphne du Maurier that she had been holding onto for the girls and followed them to the section of the store that she knew she'd find them in. "Hey, I found a copy of 'Rebecca,' for you ladies. Are you still interested in reading it?"

The shortest girl's face lit up. "Yes! It sounded great last week when you told us about it." The other two girls were nodding in agreement.

Sarah handed it over and turned to leave, but the shorter girl spoke again, "Who's the hunk sleeping on the couch?"

Tilting her head, Sarah answered, "I'm not really sure."

"Well he's adorable," the tallest girl said. "Keep that one around."

Sarah smiled and walked back toward the recliner that she had been in when the girls showed up.

"Sarah?" It was Loki's voice. She altered her path slightly. "Sarah," he repeated, clearly relieved when he could see her. Sarah wondered what he had been through that could make him so nervous as she looked toward the couch. Loki was sitting up with the blanket in his lap. "I fell asleep and you covered me."

"Well yeah."

"Why did you not send me to the other room?"

Sarah shrugged. "I wasn't going to bother you after what happened last time you tried to sleep. You were sleeping peacefully, so I let you be."

"You show me more compassion than I deserve," he said, folding the blanket.

"We can talk after the girls leave, ok?" Sarah said, taking the folded blanket from him.

"You have customers. Of course," Loki said, picking up "The Gods of Mars."

Sarah went to the back room and tossed the blanket on the cot, then returned to the front of the store. Her customers took almost 45 minutes poking around in the store (which they were more than welcome to do.) Then the girls started trying to talk to Loki. They mostly giggled a lot, but he was barely acknowledging them, except to occasionally smile. He managed to look every bit the god and king, even lounging on the couch.

"Ladies, are you about done?" Sarah asked, smirking.

"Oh! Yeah," replied the shortest one.

Then all three girls said "Goodbye" to Loki and walked up to the cash register. First the tallest girl checked out, then the shortest. The girl in the middle was last, and she smiled at Sarah. She was also the one who ended up buying "Rebecca."

"He's absolutely batty about you, Sarah. You'll have a hard time getting rid of him, I think."

"Thanks, Val," Sarah said, visibly blushing.

"Ohhoo, it's mutual. Good luck to you both," Val said, grabbing her change and her books to meet her two friends, who were waiting just outside the door.

Sarah turned toward Loki, slightly embarrassed, but smiling.

Loki, who had heard everything, had a huge grin plastered on his face. "Those girls... they would make entertaining servants."

The smile fell off of Sarah's face, causing Loki's to also disappear. "Why do you do that?" she asked.

Confused, Loki asked, "Do what?"

"Why is everything about slaves and servants to you?"

"Well, Sarah, where I'm from, there are slaves, servants, and gods. Odin is at the top, then Frigga and Thor, then me, then everyone else. Or, at least, that is how it was," Loki said, thoughtfully.

"You must not think very highly of me, then," Sarah grumped at him, feeling suddenly very inferior.

"I think better of you than anyone I have ever met," Loki told her, making her blush delightfully. He watched the anger melt away.

"I've been thinking..." he stated after a short pause, "do you know where your powers come from?"

Sarah shook her head. "I didn't even realize or remember that I had them until today. I don't think I got them from mom, and, uh, you know I never met my dad."

"I hope you do not think me rude, but how old are you?"

"Twenty-seven. Why?" she asked, suspiciously.

Loki shook his head thoughtfully. "Nothing. Just a thought." Sarah narrowed her eyes at him, suspiciously, but let it go.

"So why don't you deserve any compassion?" she asked after a few seconds.

"Ah, yes, well. Odin is old, and his health is failing, so he decided to hold Thor's coronation. I played a prank on them, by letting in a couple of Frost Giants." Loki flashed his charming smile at the memory. "I didn't know I was one of them at the time, of course.

"Thor predictably overreacted, and he rekindled the war between the giants and the Asgardians. Odin banished him, here, to Earth. Then, while I was questioning the old man about who I am. Odin fainted and had to be put in his chamber so he could properly enter his Odin sleep... I...uh...I was the last man standing, the throne mine. I told Thor that Odin was dead, then I lost my head and tried to kill Thor. I told too many easily checked lies and let the power of the throne get to my head. I failed."

"I'm a little lost. You tried to rule, which is what you were born for, and you failed, so you don't deserve compassion? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Yes," Loki answered, covering his face with his hands. "I am worthless without a kingdom."

Sarah sat down next to him and tentatively put her head on his shoulder. "I don't care about...any...of that. I've lived my whole life simply. I don't need a kingdom to make me happy." Sarah lifted her head, and they looked into each other's eyes. "I'm beginning to think that I might just need...you." She whispered the last word, as Loki had leaned in to kiss her.

The bell over the door tinkled. Sarah and Loki pulled back, away from each other, smiling embarrassedly at each other. Sarah stood up, turning toward the door. "Oh, hey, Daryl. How much?"

"Sarah! No charge today." Daryl was large, loud, and always outwardly jovial.

Sarah pulled her wallet out of her pocket and said, "Come on, Daryl, you can't give your food away. Lemme pay you."

"You, Sarah, are a lifesaver. Literally. You saved Little Daryl's future." Daryl put the pizza down on the counter and pulled something out of his back pocket. "Here." It was the History report that Sarah had helped his 11 year old son with. He had gotten an A on it, thanks in no small part to spending an entire week studying, researching, and writing that paper at the store, with Sarah's help. "I can't charge you for this," Daryl said, gesturing at the pizza.

"Daryl."

"Half off, then, Sarah. Half off. I'm sure he'll need your help again."

Sarah handed Daryl his money with a tip that he did not want to take. She glared at him until he relented. He kissed her on her cheek, told her she looked positively radiant, (which he always told her,) then he left.

"That man," Loki said, "I like him. Why do you not work for him?"

"Because I love my job here. I love this place. Daryl's been trying to get me to work for him for years. He's a good person, but I LOVE this job."

Loki shrugged. "That food smells good. Is it for me?"

Sarah smiled. "It's for us. I'll be right back with some plates. Would you like some water?"

"I'll help," he said, getting up and following her.

Grabbing some paper plates and a few napkins, Sarah turned around to find Loki right behind her. He gently took the plates and napkins out of her hands, placing them on top of a box. He wrapped his arms around her. "Were we not busy when the man with the food showed up?" He gently pulled the pen out of her hair, letting it fall to her shoulders. He plunged one hand into her now loose hair and drew her to him, placing his other hand on the center of her back. "Ok?" he whispered.

Unable to find her voice, Sarah nodded. Loki kissed her deeply, keeping her close with his hands. He had intended to stop, but when he started to pull away, she wrapped her arms around him and kept him close. "Sarah," he said between kisses, "please. I will not stop myself once this gets past a certain point."

"I don't want you to stop, Loki. I've never done anything like this before, but I want you t..."

Loki cut her off by kissing her deeply and passionately. He pulled her hair a bit, forcing her to turn her head a little, so he had access to her neck. He kissed up and down one side, then pulled her hair the other way, both exposing the other side of her neck and causing a soft moan to escape her lips.

"The door... I have to lock it..." she whispered, breathlessly.

Loki removed his hand from her back and waved it up, then down. "The door is locked and the sign says closed, now. OK?"

Sarah answered by pulling Loki back to her. He turned them so that Sarah was up against the wall.

"Wait," Loki said, grabbing her hands and pinning them to the wall behind her. "I can stop now, but once we start..." he shook his head. "I am not a kind or gentle man." Still holding her arms up, he leaned forward and nibbled on her ear. "I won't stop when it hurts." He nibbled harder.

Sarah felt her heart beating faster and harder than its already accelerated rate. She inhaled and exhaled rapidly, almost panting. 'He said when,' her panicked mind repeated over and over. Loki could see the heat of desire in her eyes, but he also saw the terror that was just behind it. The terror made him want her more.

"OK," she whispered, her body trembling against his, and that was all Loki needed to hear.

He tore her clothes off and took her, shoving her violently against the wall.

* * *

When he finished, she was crying.

With a deep sigh, he pulled Sarah in close, squeezing her to him as she panted and cried softly. Loki let her slide down to the floor, but her legs would not support her right away, so he held her to him, gently running his fingers through her lovely, mostly-purple hair. When he felt her supporting her own weight, he let go of her, but he did not back away.

She looked up at him, eyes red and shining. He plunged his hands back into her hair and kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around him, returning his passion. He pulled his face away, then pressed his forehead against hers. "Mine," he whispered, and she nodded, accepting the declaration.

After a couple of seconds, Loki let go of Sarah and got a good look at her. "Sorry, pet," he said to Sarah, (who was still naked, but had started picking up her clothes.) He gestured toward an old mirror with one hand while he held her hair off of her neck with the other. Sarah had love-bites on both sides of her neck and on her shoulders, and a couple of them were starting to bruise.

Sarah looked into the mirror and gently touched one of the marks. It was tender, and she inhaled sharply. "I don't think...are you always so...uh..."

"Brutal? Abusive? Awful?" he prompted, looking down at the floor, feeling very guilty about the violent way he had used the mortal girl.

"Intense. Passionate," she said, shoving her clothes under one arm and turning to face him.

Loki shook his head. "I had no right to use you so...brutally."

She dropped her clothes again and wrapped her arms around him. "I...kind of liked it."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Oh?" he asked her, putting his hands on her waist.

Sarah shrugged. "Yeah. Well, until the end." She laughed nervously. "Not all the time, but...," she shook her head, then she looked up and their eyes met. She laughed a little more, and Loki grinned at her.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I've never...lost control like that," he told her. "I cannot promise that I never will again with you." He let go of her.

"Well," she said softly as she bent down to pick up her clothes, "I think I'd like to let you try again."

Chuckling to himself, Loki said, "Now? Because I could probably..."

"Noooo," Sarah laughed, stepping into her underwear and pants.

Bowing his head slightly, but still smiling, Loki said, "As you wish."

Sarah had her shirt half way over her head when he said that. She stopped for half a second, then slowly pulled it into place. She smoothed out the wrinkles. "You...you mean that, don't you? You could do whatever you want to me, but you won't unless I...you..." Sarah's face twisted into knots, then she buried it in both of her hands and started sobbing giant, hiccuping sobs.

Loki, also dressed, now, wrapped his arms back around his delicate mortal woman. He pushed her hair out of her face, one side at a time. "I need you to look at me, Sarah, because you need to really understand this about me." She lifted her head, still hiccuping in air instead of breathing it. "I am a king without a kingdom. I tried to murder my brother so my father would give the kingdom to me. I considered murdering the old man, too, but I needed him to give it to me. Do you understand, Sarah?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry."

"As evil as I am, I could not steal the throne. I had to be given it. I do not want to steal a kingdom, I need it to be HANDED to me. I don't want to rule, I want to be BEGGED to rule. You are like a kingdom to me. I have no interest in conquering you by brute force. My ego needs you to beg me to rule you." He pulled her face to his, but stopped short of their lips touching. "Every time, I must be invited, Sarah, or it just holds no appeal to me." He held his lips less than a centimeter from hers, waiting.

Smirking, Sarah threw both of her arms around him and pressed her lips against his. She was still crying a little, but Loki knew she would be ok for now. After his time with the Vampire Queen, then Laufey, he understood what it was like to have a piece of himself stolen again and again. "They won't hurt you again, Sarah." He smoothed her hair while she cried a little on his shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Loki held Sarah, even though she was done crying. It really had not taken her very long to get herself back under control, which gave him another thing to admire about her. She intrigued him where most mortals...no, he found all beings dull and predictable, not just mortals.

"Loki?" Sarah said, softly.

"Hmm?"

"Open the store for me, please. I need to get cleaned up."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she answered, a little sniffly. "I'm sure. I'll be out in a couple minutes."

After kissing the top of her head, Loki let Sarah go. "OK," he said. He grabbed the plates and napkins, then went out to the front area.

Loki put the pile of paper goods next to the pizza box, then unlocked the door and flipped the sign to open. He plopped into the recliner that Sarah had been sitting in earlier. The smell of her shampoo clung to the chair, and her natural scent clung to him. He leaned back, closed his eyes, and relaxed, just breathing. The bell over the door rang, and, without opening his eyes, Loki said, "She'll be here in a minute."

* * *

Sarah went into the store's small bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. She looked at the marks Loki had left, and decided that they were not dark enough to bother trying hiding. She was not sure that she would hide them, anyway. She was strangely proud to be wearing his marks. Sarah opened the tiny mirror that she kept a few small things behind: aspirin, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, tums, some feminine products, and eye drops. She used the eye drops, then put them back. She left her hair down.

As Sarah opened the door to the main part of the store, she heard Loki's voice, "...in a minute." She picked up her pace a little, only to freeze dead in her tracks. Greg was standing at the counter, holding a white rose, obviously waiting for her. She took a deep breath and continued walking.

Loki caught Sarah's hesitation and opened his eyes. His outward appearance did not otherwise change, but he was no longer relaxed.

"You popping in to get a book, then?" Sarah spat sweetly at Greg.

Moving only his eyes, Loki looked at Sarah. She shook her head slightly left to right, exactly once. Greg missed all of it because he was far too busy glaring at the books all around the store.

Shaking his head, Greg turned his attention to Sarah. "Sarah, you know why I'm here," Greg said, holding the rose out to her.

"I hate white roses, Greg. Always have," she said, carefully staying out of Greg's reach.

Greg put the flower down on the counter and looked at Sarah. His eyes narrowed. "You look good. Happy. I know you have a boyfriend. I know that you can't stay away from me unless someone else is scratching your...itches." He took a step toward Sarah.

Sarah shrugged. Loki tensed, and Sarah shot him a quick look that told him to stay where he was. "You're not welcome in my life anymore," she said to Greg, much more calmly than she felt.

Greg took another step toward Sarah and put his hand on her shoulder. "Is it him?" he asked, tilting his head toward Loki. She just looked at Greg. His grip tightened on her shoulder until her eyes watered, but she did not move. He lifted his other hand and brushed her hair back, behind her shoulder. "Did he leave these... this damage... On my Sarah?" Greg pressed his thumb into a particularly deep-looking bruise, causing Sarah to inhale sharply.

Loki took a few steps closer, but Sarah looked at him and shook her head. She could almost hear him grinding his teeth, but he did stop.

"Get your hands off of me. Now," Sarah said, giving no indication with her voice that she was in any pain.

Greg squeezed a little more, but then let go. He turned to the still smiling Loki. "You stay the fuck away from her, do you understand me?"

Loki started laughing. "I will do no such thing!" he said, with humor still in his voice. "You have nerve. Normally, I would toy with you. I would tease and torture you to find your breaking point, but I would not let you break, because in submission, there is freedom." Loki sighed longingly, then shook his head and turned his attention back to Greg. "If you EVER lay so much as a finger on my Sarah again, I will destroy you." Loki took a single, large step toward Greg, and they were almost nose to nose. "Actually, I'm going to do that anyway." Loki started laughing again.

Greg took a swing at Loki's face, which Loki was expecting. He caught Greg's fist with one hand, still laughing, then wrapped his other hand around Greg's throat, and lifted him into the air. "You really are as stupid as you look!" he laughed, putting Greg back on the ground.

"You're gunna pay for that," Greg threatened, fuming. "And you," he said, turning to Sarah, "I'm gunna kill you."

Loki smacked Greg across the face, rocking him on his heels. "You do not get to look her like that anymore, and you cannot imagine the torture that I will put you through if you ever threaten her again."

Greg ground his teeth. "I will kill you," he said to Loki, this time, then turned around and left. Loki shrugged. "He is either a stupid coward, or very brave."

"Stupid," Sarah answered, "and thank you," she said, looking up at Loki.

Confused, Loki asked, "For?"

Sarah sighed. "Not killing him. Waiting as long as you did to step in. I know they both took effort; I could see it in your eyes."

"I still plan to kill him."

Shrugging uncomfortably, Sarah picked up the rose Greg had left behind. She turned to drop it in the garbage, but Loki stopped her and gently took it out of her hands. With a small wave of his hand, Loki caused the green color to flow up from the stem into the flower. When the stem was completely white, he tapped it with his finger, causing the white to vanish, leaving behind a clear stem. Then he gently brushed the petals against Sarah's face. Where her skin touched petal, a transformation began. Spreading slowly down from the petals, the whole flower transformed into slowly spreading glass. The petals seemed to glow from within, pulsing with its own inner light.

"Wow," Sarah said, breathlessly. "That's beautiful."

"Here," he said, handing it back to her after the transformation was complete.

"This one, I'm keeping. It's gorgeous," Sarah said, holding it in the light, watching it glimmer and shine with it's own inner light. She laid the flower down next to the cash register and turned toward the still unopened pizza box. "Why does the light pulse like that?" she asked Loki.

"Well, apparently I feel very passionately about you. Give me your hand." Sarah held her hand up to Loki, and he pressed it against his chest, so Sarah could feel his heart. The pulsing of the rose matched it exactly. "Unintended, I assure you."

Sarah looked into Loki's eyes, then looked at the rose. She felt the rhythm of his heart with her hand, but that was not enough for her. Moving her hand, she laid her ear on his chest, instead, hearing the rhythm that way. "It belongs to you, Sarah. The rose is merely a symbol of that."

Sarah was so happy that her eyes started to tear up. "Go sit down," she told him. "I'll bring you some pizza." He smiled at her shyness, then sat down in the recliner.

* * *

Sarah opened the box and inhaled deeply. She grabbed a couple of slices for both of them, dropped them on separate plates, then handed one to Loki before she sat down.

Loki watched Sarah take a bite of her pizza, then lifted his and did the same. After a couple of chews, he exclaimed, "This is good!"

"Yeah, it's my favorite," she agreed. "Why the surprise, though?"

"I had no idea what to expect."

"They don't have pizza in Asgard?"

Loki shook his head and took another, much larger bite.

Sarah finished one piece of her pizza, then shook her head. "He's not even that cute. I'm not really sure why I spent so much time trying to make things work with him."

"He was keeping you safe for me," Loki replied, matter-of-factly.

Sarah felt her jaw drop before she realized her mouth was open. "Excuse me?"

"He was keeping you safe. Toughening you, I suppose. He was making you fit for a god, Sarah. Please do not look at me that way," he said when Sarah gave him a disgusted look. "I'm going to kill him for the way he treated you, but he... He kept you from any real serious damage until I could find you. That is why you stayed with him; you were waiting for me. It is why you have been alone since realizing you had no further need of him. You were using him as a stepping stone to me." Loki stood up. "And I need more pizza." He got himself three more slices and sat back down.

Mouth still open, Sarah shook her head. "You're so...unbelievably self centered. Everything I went through, that you still know NOTHING about, by the way, you think that was some cosmic trick the universe played on me, so I'd be the perfect...whatever for you?"

"What? No. Sarah, you survived it, and it all lead you here. To this moment, which is leading into the next and the next. I am trying to tell you that...dwelling on the 'why' is a waste of time. The why is always, 'to get to the next moment.'" He sighed. "I am doing a bad job of explaining myself."

"No, you did alright. I think I get what you mean," Sarah said, softly. "I'm not angry anymore."

Loki smirked. Sarah's anger was always there, just below the surface. She hid it with smiles and kind words, and an exceptional capacity for compassion, but it was there, seething, pulsating like an infected wound. Loki wanted nothing more than to teach her how to tap into it the way he could tap into his.

Sarah threw her napkin at him. "Either stop smirking at me or tell me why."

"I think I just realized that I'm in love with you," he told her.

"I...I can't...you can't be." Sarah stammered. 'I'm unlovable,' she had wanted to tell him.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "So you know my feelings better than me?"

"No, I...this is hard for me," Sarah told him, looking at her hands. She started nervously picking at her cuticles. "It's just...I mean...I don't deserve your love."

His face softened a bit. "You have it, but you deserve a better love than mine. I know it's hard. It's ok," he said, taking a deep breath, then letting it out. "My feelings for you should not change anything between us. I plan to do dirty things with you whenever you let me until I figure out what I'm doing next. I'd just really like it if we were together when I leave here."

She opened her mouth, then closed it. Then she nodded and started eating her second piece of pizza. "I will consider that," she said softly, smiling at him.

A customer entered as the bell over the door rang, and Sarah got up to help, unable to keep herself from smiling for the rest of the day.

* * *

The rest of Sarah's shift was uneventful. Loki read, Sarah cleaned, read, and waited on customers, as appropriate. They both had some cold pizza for dinner. When the end of the day came, Sarah invited Loki to her apartment. She briefly considered not inviting him, but even just the idea was absurd to her. After he accepted, ("I would enjoy seeing your home,") she ran into the back room and grabbed her jacket.

"So are we going to climb into one of those large, metal things I've seen dashing back and forth?" Loki asked after Sarah was done locking the door.

"Oh, no, I just live a block away. Not far at all," Sarah replied, zipping her sweat shirt jacket.

Loki held his hand out, and Sarah took it. She lead the way to her apartment building. She held the glass rose in her other hand.

As they walked, she kept trying to sneak glances at the man who was next to her. He noticed almost all of them, mostly because he was trying to sneak glances at her. 'He can't love me,' she thought to herself, taking an odd comfort in the denial. 'He'll figure it out as he gets to know me better. At least he wants to try, though. And I love him. I won't tell him yet, but I do.' Smiling again as she caught Loki trying to sneak a look at her, Sarah nuzzled her head against his arm. They continued on to her apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Sarah unlocked the door to her apartment building and let Loki in. "Hey Sarah, how are you?" the man at the security desk asked as she walked by.

"Oh, hey Sam. I'm good. This is Lo..arry," Sarah told him. Sam was a nice man, in his 60s. He had been working security for Sarah's building since she moved into it. He was a little chubby, with light, white hair (where he still had hair.)

Sam looked at Sarah, then "Larry," then back at Sarah. He winked. "It's good to see you finally having someone over since you kicked that loser out. Have a good night."

"You too," she said, smiling. Sam really did not miss much that went on in this building when he was on duty. "Come on," she said to Loki, leading him to the stairs. Loki nodded at the security guard as he passed.

Once they were on the second floor, Loki looked at Sarah and said, "Larry?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. I'm not sure why, exactly, but it felt like a bad idea to tell him your name."

"You have good instincts," he told her thoughtfully.

They had reached the third floor, where Sarah's apartment was. "This way," she said, turning left. Loki noticed that the door had the number "14" nailed to it.

She unlocked her door and opened it. Her apartment was neat enough, but sparsely furnished. "I don't really have a lot of guests," she told him, hanging up her keys and kicking off her shoes. Loki followed suit and kicked off his own.

The apartment was small. The room they were in was a combination kitchenette/living room. There was a bathroom off to one side, and a bedroom next to it. Both doors stood open.

"You like green," Loki said, smirking.

"Hmm?" Sarah asked, caught off guard.

"Green, Sarah. Everything is shades of green. It's my favorite, too," he said, smirking.

Loki was right. Sarah's apartment was very green. The walls were white, but she had stenciled green ivy along the top of the wall. Her rug was a deep, forest green. She had a few plants. Her couch was brown, but there was a green blanket tossed over the back of it. From what Loki could see, her bathroom and bedroom were similarly green.

Sarah licked her lips. Her mouth felt dry. "I've always liked the color. The place came with the green rug, and I just...went with it. After I kicked...Greg...out."

Loki looked at Sarah and saw that her color was off. "Are you alright, Sarah?"

"No," she said, softly. She suddenly felt off...dizzy, like she was going to pass out. She felt violated somehow, but she wasn't sure WHY. "Where's the light going...?"

Loki was ready for what happened next, but barely. Sarah dropped the rose as her eyes rolled back into her head. The rose hit the rug with a small "thump," but did not break.

He caught Sarah and swept her into his arms. Then he carried her into her bedroom and laid her down on top of her bed without bothering to draw back the comforter. He was considering climbing into the bed to be next to her, to hold her until she came out of her swoon, when he felt a strange pull. He resisted, wondering how anyone found him, but the pull was too strong. He felt himself shift away, fading into nothingness.

* * *

For an instant that felt like an eternity, Loki did not exist, but he was still self-aware. It was a relief for him when he was finally made whole again.

"Loki," a gravely, harsh voice called, "at last."

Loki immediately shimmered into his battle armor. "Who dares to summon Loki, of Asgard?" He knew he was in neither Midgard nor Asgard, but he was not sure beyond that. He was on some sort of rocky, dark planet. There were rocks and stars, but not much else. A stray thought of the Vampire Queen flew through his mind, causing his palms to grow clammy.

"Funny, I did not find you in Asgard," the voice growled, reminding Loki that he had bigger concerns than that...woman...to focus on.

Loki turned 180° and came face to face with a hideous creature. His skin was purple and ancient looking. "Why did you summon me? Surely you realize that you have nothing to gain by my death."

"You misunderstand my intentions. I wish to put you in charge of an army of chitauri."

Loki furrowed his brow. "And what do you require in return?"

"I want you to lay waste to humanity, of course."

"Humanity is doing a fine job of laying waste to themselves," Loki pointed out, chuckling. "I'd just as soon not get involved," he added.

"You are the God of Mischief. What better mischief than taking over an entire planet?"

Loki smirked, savoring the idea of conquering Thor's beloved Earth. "I don't have the power to transport an army, and I think you lack it, as well." Loki remembered the Cube, but quickly pushed it from his mind.

"Ah, yes, well, should you agree to lead the army, you'll need to acquire the Tesseract for that." Loki's ears perked up. "I see that you understand the implications of that. Yes, the Tesseract has become active again, on Earth."

"What if I say no?" Loki asked.

The giant shrugged. "I suppose I will find someone else, but I do not expect you to say no."

"Who gets the Cos... Tesseract? When it's over, who keeps that?"

"We do," a different, unseen creature growled from Loki's left. "You keep Earth and we keep the Tesseract."

Loki pretended to think about it, but he had decided to accept as soon as the creature had made it clear to him that the army was coming, whether Loki lead it or not. "When do we start?" he asked, grinning.

"Not quite yet," the larger creature said. "I wanted to be sure of your cooperation first."

Loki thought about that for a minute. "Why me? Why not you?"

"We offer you an army and you ask me why," the smaller creature spat, clearly angered.

"Yes."

It growled, then said, angrily, "You are more suited to Earth, and transportation of the Tesseract."

"Ah," Loki responded, recognizing the lie even as he accepted it. "How long do I have until you need me?"

"You have about 12 Earth hours," the giant creature said.

Loki was taken aback. "So little! That leaves me almost no time to wrap up my affairs."

"Not our concern," the giant pointed out.

"Fair enough," Loki said, narrowing his eyes. "I suppose I'd better accept," he said with a grin.

"Good. Expect to hear from us again, soon."

Loki felt himself shoved violently back to Sarah's apartment, pushed back the same way he had been pulled. He was fairly sure that the creatures could not sense Sarah, but he said a spell to hide her apartment from them, anyway.

* * *

Sarah was stirring when Loki returned. Shimmering back into what he thought of as his "Midgard clothes," (dark green polo shirt, black slacks, black socks, since his shoes were by the door,) he waited for her to open her eyes. He had a lot to think about. He had little interest in conquering Sarah's world, but how else could he protect her? If he had told the creature no, the chitauri would come anyway, and with a more blood thirsty leader than him. Plus Loki liked the idea of laying waste to anything that Thor held dear.

"Loki?" Sarah asked, groggily.

"I'm here."

"I fainted?"

"Yes," he answered simply. He assumed the fainting and his summoning were connected, but he held the information back. "I caught you and brought you in here."

"What else happened?" Sarah asked, after sitting up and looking at Loki. She still felt groggy and...heavy. More like she had been drugged than like she had fainted.

"How do you know anything happened?" he asked, surprised.

"You look... Different. Drained," Sarah said, running both of her hands through her hair. Her brow was furrowed and everything was confusing, but it was getting a little better. Slowly. "You have gray circles under your eyes like you did this morning."

Loki shrugged. "I... I can't tell you. Yet. It would put you in danger, and I will not do that."

Sarah looked long and hard at him. She was in love with this man. She knew it and she was beginning to suspect that he knew it. She had been given few reasons in her life to trust anyone, especially men. None of that seemed to matter where Loki was concerned, though. Whether it made sense or not, she trusted him. "OK," she told him.

"Just like that?" he asked, a bit incredulously.

"Loki, I know who you are. I know enough of you legends to understand why I shouldn't trust you. I also know you have yet to do wrong by me, even though you've had a few chances to in the short time that I've known you." Sarah smiled bashfully. "I trust you, silver tongue and all."

Head tilted, Loki stared at Sarah for a couple of seconds, really processing what she had said. "You... trust me." For a fraction of a second, he looked like he wanted to cry. "No one has ever said that to me, and meant it." He shook his head. "As a baby, as a child, even as an adult, I was Loki the trickster and Loki the prankster. Loki, who can't measure up to his big brother, Thor. Loki, the frost giant, as it turned out." Loki took a deep breath. "They could have stopped it. Odin or Thor. They could have, and they did nothing."

Sarah got up and put her hand on his shoulder. "Loki?"

He looked down at her. She recoiled a little, because she saw all the rage and pain behind his eyes, but then she wrapped her arms around him. "You know all that stuff you told me earlier about not dwelling on the past?" She kissed him on his cheek. "You're here now, and I love you."

"You should not just say that because you want me to feel better," he said, brow furrowed.

"I wouldn't do that to you. I love you. I'm terrified of it, and I have no idea how it could happen so quickly, but I am in love with you. I don't even want to be. I enjoyed being on my own."

Loki grinned tiredly at her. "Well. I love you, too, but I have to leave you for what I hope will be a short time," Loki told Sarah, and instantly wanted to take the words back. "I promise you that I will return. You belong at my side, but...what I have to do...you can't come with me. If anyone knows about you, they will use you against me. I cannot risk you."

Face crumpled up, fighting back tears, Sarah asked, "Why now? How soon? This isn't fair!"

Loki shook his head, fighting his own anger at the situation. "I don't know. Very soon, but we at least have tonight." He held his hands, palms up, and shrugged. "I see no other way to keep you safe."

Seeing how difficult it was for him to control his own emotions helped Sarah get a very tenuous grip on her own. She took a deep breath and said, "Come into my bed with me, then," her voice catching on the last word as a tear fell down her cheek. Loki leane forward and kissed it away, then licked the salt off of his lips. He kissed her mouth deeply and passionately, gently touching her breast. He broke the kiss and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Sarah. I do not want leaving to be more difficult for us than it has to be."

"It can't get any harder," Sarah said as she straddled his legs. "If what you're doing is dangerous, there's a chance that this will be the last bit of time that I ever have to be with you." They wrapped their arms around each other. "Can I have this night? Please?"

With a deep throated growl, Loki stopped trying to resist their mutual desire. They kissed, slowly and lovingly, taking off each other's shirts. He slid his hands up and down her bare back, kissing the top of her breasts. "You have beautiful skin." He nibbled on her ear. "How gentle, my love?" He nibbled a little harder. "Are you sure you want gentle?"

"No... I... yes. For now. Please. Please, be gentle."

Loki wrapped his arms around Sarah and stood up. He laid her down, then got in bed next to her and just held her. Their bodies were pressed against each other, foreheads touching. Loki brushed her shoulder with his fingers, then gently, slowly trailed them along her side, following the natural shape of Sarah's body. "I'll come back for you," he whispered, letting his hand rest on her hip. He squeezed gently.

"Will you?" she asked, softly.

"Of course," he answered, sliding his hand over to her lower back.

"Mmm," she softly grunted as he gently rubbed her back. She felt her eyelids get heavy as she relaxed. "Why, though?"

Grinning, Loki slowly ran his fingers up Sarah's back. "Because this," he whispered, kissing her gently, feeling his heart fill with warmth as she kissed him back. He pulled away slowly. "This is something special, Sarah." He kissed her, feeling the heat building between them.

As Loki broke the kiss again, Sarah drew her hands up to her lips, touching them. They felt warm, electrified somehow, when he kissed her, but they were just her lips when she touched them.

"Do you think," he asked softly, pressing his forehead against hers again, "that this is a common thing in any world?" He kissed her again, but this time he did not pull away. Loki let the heat and the passion build between them, enjoying how Sarah's body responded to him.

A growl escaping from the back of his throat, Loki rolled onto his back, pulling Sarah on top of him.

* * *

"You are incredible," Loki whispered to Sarah, after they finished, gently brushing a strand of hair off of her cheek.

She tried to bury her face in his chest, embarrassed.

Loki lifted his head off the pillow and looked at her, brow furrowed. "Why do you hide your face?" he asked her, running his fingers along her back.

Sarah shook her head against him, but answered anyway. "I don't like to be out of control like that."

Laughing, Loki said, "Sarah, my sweet, if you don't lose control while we're having sex, I have not done my job." He put his hand under her chin and kissed her deeply.

As he pulled away, Sarah swallowed. "I just..." she whispered, softly... "Sex was always..." She shook her head. "Dirty," she settled on. She rested her head on her pillow this time. He rolled onto his side to face her.

Anger flashed across Loki's face (causing Sarah to cringe a little, instinctively,) followed immediately by sympathy and love.

Gently, tenderly, he placed his hand on her shoulder. "I've been through hell. Literally, hell. I've traveled through some of the deepest, darkest, most unimaginable hells in existence, actually. They are all too good for the men who ruined the physical act of love for you."

"You can't fix me," Sarah told him, looking into his eyes.

"I have no need to fix something as perfect as you," he said, running his fingers through her hair. When she opened her mouth to argue, he held a finger over his lips. "Shhhh. We'll get through this," he told her. She blew out the breath she had taken, then grinned tiredly at him.

He rolled onto his back put his arm under her, guiding her head back onto his chest. "How could I not come back for what is so clearly mine?" he asked her, running his fingers through her hair.

"I love you," Sarah answered, starting to doze.

"And I love you," he responded, kissing the top of her head.

Loki's stomach made a loud rumbling noise, starling Sarah. "You're hungry!?" she asked, sitting up.

"Mmm, quite, actually," Loki answered, sitting up next to her.

Sarah's stomach also growled loudly. They both looked at it, then each other, then laughed. "Come on," Sarah said, getting up and grabbing her robe from the closet. Loki grabbed his pants, then followed her.

* * *

They sat and talked at Sarah's table, sharing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The words were just the boring, unimportant chatter of any two lovers bonding over a meal, but they were happy.

After a while, Sarah and Loki got up and walked over to the couch. They sat next to each other, then Sarah laid with her head in his lap.

"What happened to your mom?" he asked her, abruptly, absentmindedly playing with her hair.

Sarah took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "It's not a happy story."

"You don't have to tell me."

"I think I'd like to, I just wanted to warn you."

"Are you going to be alright?" Loki asked.

She nodded, then started talking.

"When I was nine, Mark, uh, started to actually..." Sarah sighed. "He used to fuck me. He started touching me when I was six, but by the time I was nine...I don't know what the difference was in his head, but the day after my ninth birthday... It hurt, but...he stopped hitting me and mom as much, so in my head, it was worth it. I guess. I didn't tell anyone.

"One day, when I was ten, mom...she was home, but she was staring off into a corner chasing down broken dreams or...I don't know. Whatever she was looking for, I guess. I was sprawled out, reading a book, on the couch. He threw something at me and told me to go to my room and get ready for bed. I knew by his tone what he," Sarah swallowed, "what he wanted."

Sarah paused to take a deep breath and let it out. She sat up, but Loki put his arm around her and pulled her to him. She finished her story leaning into him with her back while his arm was draped possesively across her chest.

She swallowed and licked her lips. "So Mark came to me a few minutes later. I cried about mom being home...I begged him to wait...I was so ashamed. He shoved a washcloth into my mouth and...anyway, mom came to check on me about ten minutes later. Mark was...done...and climbing off when mom cleared her throat in the doorway. She saw me crying, and him smiling, and then she turned and left."

Sarah took a deep breath, then let it out. Her chest hitched a little. "Mark...he didn't say a thing, didn't even seem to care. Just put his pants back on and...and I cried. I showered. I went to sleep.

"The next day, when I got home from school, I found a note on the door. It said, 'I'm sorry, baby. I should have been a better mother to you, but now I hope I fixed it. Maybe this way, you'll be free to find a true mother.'" Sarah took a deep breath. "So I shoved the note in my pocket and went inside." Sarah shook her head. "Mom killed him. Then herself."

"So in the end..." Loki said, not bothering to finish.

"Yeah," Sarah agreed. She pulled away, but Loki grabbed her hand as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" he asked, softly.

Sarah shook her head and snatched her hand back. "I'm saving you the trouble of trying to find a reason to politely leave now that you know how worthless I am."

Loki shook his head. "That...horrible...story...why would it change my opinion of you?" He stood up, then wrapped his arms around her. "If a man has a fork, but he uses it to eat soup, only a fool blames the fork for not being a spoon."

She looked at him, obviously confused.

"If a man uses a child as an adult, the child had no more blame than the fork," Loki explained.

"I'm not a fork, Loki. I'm not a spoon. He damaged me," she said, sighing as she sat back down. "If someone breaks one of the tongs off of the fork, then what? It's just not that simple."

"As you said, you're not a fork," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her. "And all of your tongs seem to be more or less in the righ..."

"I can't have babies," she interrupted.

Loki cringed, but not for the reason Sarah expected. "That horrible man took that away from you?"

"I don't even think I WANT kids," she said, half shrugging, "but yes. I...tore at some point...and it got infected...it wrecked my uterus. I vaguely remember being on some nasty antibiotics a few months after I turned nine...it was probably...I didn't even find out until I went to get on birth control when things got…serious...with Greg."

Furrowing his brow, Loki mumbled something that Sarah couldn't hear, then, out loud, he said, "Well, you know, Sarah, if we ever decide that we want to raise children, we'll find a way. Plus our medicine is...far beyond yours." He put his hand on her belly. "If you ever decide that you want to be a mom," he smiled, "we will find a way."

Sarah sniffled and her eyes watered. "You really don't mind."

"Nope," he assured her, sitting back down on the couch.

"What if i can never have your babies?"

Loki shrugged. "I was adopted."

She sat next to him, but did not touch him or lean on him. "How are you ok with this?"

Sighing, Loki put his arm around her shoulders. "I am the god of mischief and lies, and you ask me how I am ok with your inability to bear a child?"

"...so you're lying?" she asked him, just a little too innocently.

"No, I…," he started, before looking at her face. "You were joking," he said, smirking. He wrapped his arms around her and gently pushed her down so she was laying on the couch. "You are an evil little thing, aren't you?" He kissed her without giving her a chance to answer. It was rhetorical, anyway.

* * *

After they were done, back in Sarah's bedroom, Loki told her about the Vampire Queen and Laufey. He left out the bit about the Cosmic Cube because he did not want her to figure out what he was doing, and he was far too disgusted and confused by the version of himself that he had met in the dark Asgard to talk about that. He felt guilty about both omissions.

"That is horrible!" she told him when he was finished. "I would have been a broken heap of nothingness if I had gone through what you did!" She snuggled into his chest and he tightened the arm he already had around her shoulders.

"I doubt it," he whispered, smirking.

* * *

Loki longed to stay with the woman he thought of as his perfectly flawed, beautifully damaged mortal woman, but he knew he had to go. He thought about waking her up before he left, but she was sleeping so peacefully...he could not quite bring himself to do it. He shifted her gently off of his chest, onto her pillow. He pulled the blanket up from the foot of the bed, carefully tucking it around her.

After taking one final look at the woman he had fallen in love with, Loki walked out of her bedroom, into her kitchen. He grabbed the pen and notepad that was sitting on her table and jotted down a quick note. Then he left, making sure to lock her door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue

Sarah woke up feeling empty and alone. She got up. She paced. She used the bathroom.

It was when she sat down at the kitchen table that she noticed the note.

* * *

_I could not bear to wake you. I hope you do not hold it against me when I come back for you._

_I am standing here, in your kitchen, shaking because I am afraid of what my future holds, but it does not matter to me, as long as the future brings me back to you._

_I love you. Nothing in any realm will change that._

* * *

His signature was at the bottom. Sarah traced it a few times, then folded the note carefully and put it in her top drawer, with the note her mother wrote her.

She went back to bed, but found herself unable to sleep. She looked at her clock. It was 7am. She had slept about three hours.

Sighing loudly, she sat up, and suddenly, the floodgates opened. She threw herself back down, burying her face in her pillow, sobbing great, heaving sobs that tore through her whole body.

Eventually, she got herself under control, showered, and went to work. She went through the motions of her daily life, faking feelings that she hoped would return. Everything felt gray and drab to her, but she push herself to keep going.

Then she noticed the rose, still laying on the rug where she had dropped it. She picked it up. It no longer glowed with a mysterious inner light. Sarah started crying again. Angry, frustrated, and confused, Sarah started to squeeze the petals in her hand as hard as she could, but then backed off before it broke. She set it down gently on the table. She walked to work.

Life went on, as it always does.

* * *

To be continued.


End file.
